


Retrouvailles

by ImagineOnYourOwn



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Blood, Death, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Multi, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2018-10-15 02:27:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10548490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineOnYourOwn/pseuds/ImagineOnYourOwn
Summary: The Avengers hunt down HYDRA’s bases all around the world. Every time they find one, they always seem to arrive too late for everyone is already dead. It’s frustrating and they never seem to get a clue on what happens. Until one day when they find the last HYDRA base still standing, everyone is already dead but they hear something.





	1. Powab

                                                         

 

 

A heavy sigh was heard through everyone’s earpiece as a frustrated growl was released. “ I can’t believe we’re going through this again “ said Natasha after coming empty-handed. “ How are things going on your side boys ? “ she asked with hope. “ Just like last time. It’s a real blood bath, everyone’s dead “ answered Captain America.  " Do you think it's one of HYDRA's trick ? " asked Bucky to his best friend. Steve shook his head, " It doesn't look like anything they'd do "

" But yet again they're ready to do anything in their power to keep their secrets hidden " added the redhead spy. A noise resonated in the distance and the super soldiers perceived it, tensing right away. " We're not alone " announced Steve. . ” Tony, join Natasha, see if you can get anything out of the computers. Bucky and I are gonna check the rest of the surroundings “ he ordered with his Captain voice. 

♦

“ Anything yet ? “ asked Natasha to the genius. “ You think you can give me more than 15 seconds ? I just arrived “ he said rolling his eyes. Tony settled on a chair and quickly went to work his magic. Steve and Bucky joined them.  “ There was nothing else but more corpses. We also found another file on The Winter Soldier, let’s hope it’ll be helpful this time “ stated the former. “ It was weird though, we both heard the noise. And I felt like we weren’t alone. Something doesn’t work out “ told Bucky, his brows furrowed. “ Yeah, I felt it too but we checked, there was nothing “ reassured the blonde. 

“ Okay so, technically I’d need more time and my own stuff back at the tower to retrieve all the erased datas from this place…” started Iron Man. “ But ? “ enquired the russian woman, eager to leave the place.  “ But I found out that the cameras are still filming as we speak. So, everything we’ve done since we arrived and everywhere we went is saved. It also means, I’ll be able to get to know what happened before we arrived “ “ That’s good news. First progress we had in months. Good job guys, let’s get everything back to the tower “ smiled Steve putting a hand on Tony’s shoulder.

♦

“ Okay, so. Turns out it was a bit harder then planned, the datas were encrypted and I had to find a way to recreate the pictures correctly, it was a mess. But I managed, as always because I'm the best. So, what do you want to start with ? What happened before or after we arrived ? " asked Tony clapping his hands together with a little smile as if he was impatient to see the footages.

" Just show us the damn thing, Stark " groaned Clint. Everyone agreed. " Then let's go. You might wanna try to prepare yourself though because even we've all seen bad things, what I saw is something I've never seen before " The whole team looked at each other not knowing what to expect and growing anxious with each second. Until Tony showed them the videos.  

♦

_You smiled, entering the HYDRA bases was always so easy for you. An agent came to you and lead you to where you wanted him to. You sat on the familiar chair in the middle of the room as all other agents minded their own business.  Before you could get strapped to the arms of the furniture, you went into action. You hummed the melody you knew like the back of your hand and within seconds, you felt it from the secured doors to every floor of the base. You had all theirs minds at your mercy. ” Kill each other. Only one of you gets to survive “  You checked the time on your watch as gunshots resonated through the room, cries of pain, screams of animosity._

_Your eyes were greeted with the vision of fesh being torn apart or cut, bones being broken, heads getting crushed. Blood was everywhere, the thirst for it stronger then their free will because you wanted it to be that way. Some drops of blood ended up on you but you couldn’t care less. You sighed and got up, you needed to find your file before leaving the place. Striding over the corpses, you didn’t pay much attention to what was happening around you. It was chaos. Evil unleashed even. You were walking through the deepest parts of human crualty unfazed as everyone hearing the melody coming from you turned to their fellow agents and started a killing spree until they became the victims._

♦

" Am I allowed to say that this woman completely gives me the creeps ? " asked Sam unable to take his wide eyes from the screen. " How did she do that ? Why would they kill one another ? " wondered Steve. " No idea, but I'm not sure I want to know. This shit's surreal " commented Scott. " She's taking down HYDRA so I don't really know if I am thankful or terrified right now " stated Bucky. " It's like everyone is focused on ending each other in the worst ways existing and no one pays attention to her, what the fuck ?! " exclaimed Clint. Tony smirked and looked at the groups of superheroes, " That " he said pointing at the scene being played, " is not the funniest part. Just you wait, in like 30 seconds someone's gonna gasp, I can promise you that "

♦

_You made your way through the halls knowing where to find the archives' room. Silent had fallen back down with the agents all laying dead on the cold hard ground. When you arrived in front of the door you were looking for, you kicked it open with all your might. You emitted an amused snort when you realised that facing you was the last man standing in all the HYDRA bases around the world. Using your abilities, you looked at him with a cheeky smile, " Don't go anywhere. Everyone else is dead. You will be too, of course. Not yet though, you might be useful "_

_The poor man was unable to resist you and found himself unable to move as his heartbeat increased to a mad pace. You came closer, looking him up and down, running a finger on his chest and back as you walked around him like a lion ready to attack its prey. You stopped your hand over his heart and he held his breath. " Oh no, are you scared ? " you asked in a sweet voice. Not trusting his voice he only nodded. " What a shame. Calm down now would you ? I wouldn't like for you to die on me from a heart attack. You'd ruin everything " you said your eyes looking into his._

_Once again, he was forced to comply. " Don't hurt me please " he whined. You arched an eyebrow, " What was that ? I'm sorry I didn't hear you, my thoughts were too loud " you smiled with all your teeth. " D...Don't hurt me, please " he begged again. You burst out in laughter making him jump of surprise. " Why would I listen to you ? " you wondered deeply amused. " Because I don't want to die " he said with trembling lips. You rolled your eyes, " Please don't cry, you're gonna make this harder for yourself. Why would I not hurt you ? You're gonna die anyway ! "_

_B...But why ? " the question drove you mad. You stopped circling him, one hand making its way around his neck from behind. You squeezed a little. " Did any of you stopped experimenting on us, people that you took away from their home, when we begged you to ? Did any of you show mercy for us ? Did any of you help anyone of us ? No. " you growled in his ear through gritted teeth. You kicked him in the back and he fell forward, on his hands and knees. " You took us away, erased us from existence so that could have your ways with us without anyone looking for us. You experimented on us, turned us into puppets, soldiers, monsters. You fried our brains, wiping the memories away to place your manipulations. You destroyed us, torn us to shreds to put our pieces back together the way YOU wanted because you wanted to have our loyalty " You clicked your tongue in disdain and added, " You see, I'm not a bad person and I don't hurt people. But then you had to create the Siren and force her abilities into me. I've been tortured, drowned, drugged and so on. For so long I thought I'd never get back to the real world. But, surprise, when they tried to wipe me, it didn't work. And it kind of makes sense when you think of it. I mean, how do you want to erase the mind of someone who owns the abilities to control it ? "_

♦

" Damn I don't know if I'm turned on or scared to the bones " whispered Sam. " What is she saying ? What is she telling him ? " asked Steve. " I don't know, there was no sound on the original video so I couldn't put one when fixing it " explained Stark. " She doesn't face the camera often but I think I caught the word soldiers at some point " informed Bucky.

" Well, my best bet right now is that she really doesn't like HYDRA and does a better job than us at bringing it down " stated Nat. Everyone rolled their eyes and groaned, " This was an obvious information Miss Romanoff " commented Vision. " Just keep looking at the video " ordered Tony. And just like he had planned, a few seconds later, gasps filled the room.

♦

_Looking down at the now dead body of the agent, you sighed and wiped the blood of your - his actually, you took it from his belt earlier - knife on your thigh, " Shame, you seemed like a nice guy. Too bad you were HYDRA " You threw a glance around you, clapped your hands and said " Well, let's get this over with " You turned the room upside down, opening drawers, throwing chairs to the walls in frustration and losing all hope when you got the last row of files._

_You heard footsteps coming your way, your head shot up towards the door. Everyone was dead so it couldn’t be HYDRA.  You quickly looked at each file until finding yours. Silently screaming of victory, you put it between your teeth, the knife held tight in your hand as you waited for the intruders to barge into the room. They were moving fast and it was only a matter of seconds. You counted them in your head. Three. Two. One._

♦

" WHAT THE FUCK ?! " shouted Steve and Bucky in unison. Natasha turned her head towards the two super-soldiers and gave them a glare, " She was in the archives room WITH YOU and you didn't think that mentioning it was a good idea ? " she said in an accusing tone. Tony paused the video there, a smirk on his face, enjoying the boys getting scolded. " We went to check the room, there was nothing ! " retorted Steve, " We went in, looked around, nothing. The room was upside down, files lying on the floor, we looked at them and we found Bucky's. We took it and went back to meet you.

She wasn't there ! " " Are we gonna say anything about Cap' swearing or...? " asked Clint, an eyebrow raised. No one on earth had ever been ignored harder than him in this moment. " We're all seeing the same thing here, what happened ? " asked the russian spy. " I don't know, let's finish the video, maybe we'll understand " adviced the blonde. During the whole exchange, Bucky remained silent, a frown upon his face.

♦

_No one moved. No one made a noise. Even your breathing was silent. You realised you probably looked insane with a bloody knife in hand, a file between your teeth, wild hair circling your face, eyes focused, blood all over you, holding a very defensive position. You shrugged, stuck the knife in your belt, brushed some imaginary dust from your clothes, straightened them, tried to tame your hair a little and grabbed the file in your hand. " I guess we can throw the formalities through the window ? " you asked playfully. They didn't say anything. " I mean, everyone knows Captain America, right ? Blonde's not really my type but I know a handsome man when I see one "_

_" Who are you ? " “ Not your enemy. I was on my way out, actually “ you explained. You let your eyes fall on the man beside him and gasped. ” **Zabójcza broń**  “ you whispered, your eyes never leaving the icy blue ones staring at you. He growled when he heard the words escaping your lips.  “ You’re coming with us “ ordered Captain America. ” I have other plans, sorry “ you answered not looking at him. You hummed quietly and when you felt their minds, you took control. ” Don’t move “ you said. Making your way towards the blonde, you didn’t give him time to speak as you commanded him to forget the whole exchange while convincing him that you were never there and he couldn’t see you.  _

_Putting your attention back to the brunette, you gently cupped his cheek with your hand. He tensed at the contact and you gave him a small smile. “You found your way out after all. And here I thought you were dead. I knew the Winter Soldier would find a way to break free “ your voice was low. ” Who are you ? “ he asked truly curious and wanting this moment to end quickly.  “ Of course you don’t remember. It’s alright. It’s probably better this way. You used to call me **Powab** , but I guess that today I’m no one. Goodbye, **Zabójcza broń**. It was nice to see you one last time. “ you answered. And on those words, you gave him the same orders as Cap. Leaving them with no memory of your presence. _

♦

” Okay, it’s over. But we still have no answers “ remarked Sam. ” What the hell was that ? What did she say ? What did she do ? Why can’t I remember this ?! “ groaned Steve in frustration. ” Because she doesn’t want us to “ spoke Bucky for the first time. ” She didn’t do anything but talk, she must have some ability of mind control or someth… “ he stopped in the middle of his sentence and stood up.  He walked to the screen and looked closely. The last picture was of you looking straight at the camera.

Bucky felt a sense of familiarity as his eyes scanned your face. There was something in his memory that held answers, he knew it but he seemed unable to reach it.  ” Tony can you rewind a bit please ? “ he asked. His whole focus was on you. Your body language, you facial expressions, the articulation of your lips. He thought he recognized a few words. His mind was racing and suddenly, it all made sense. His eyes looking straight into yours on the screen, he whispered, ” I remember “” What do you remember Buck ? “ wondered Steve, worried about his friend’s behaviour. Bukcy turned around and looked at the whole team. ”  ** _Powab_**  “ was all he replied. 


	2. zabójcza broń

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers hunt down HYDRA’s bases all around the world. Everytime they find one, they always seem to arrive too late for everyone is already dead. It’s frustrating and they never seem to get a clue on what happens. Until one day when they find the last HYDRA base still standing, everyone is already dead but they hear something.
> 
> After seeing the video, Bucky goes after you, needing to get answers by any means.

                                           

 

 

The buzzing sound and the repetitive feeling of the needle piercing your shoulder’s skin was surprisingly relaxing. After so many years, you had grown accustomed to the pain and it would take so much more than a needle to make you flinch even the slightest bit. “ Can I ask you something ? ” suddenly spoke the tattoo artist. “ Of course ” you replied, holding your hair with your left hand to not let it get in the way of your right shoulder. “ What does these words mean ? Does it hold a special meaning to you ? ” he asked. 

“ Should I feel sorry for you, ignoring the meaning of two latin words ? ‘ _Memento mori_ ’ it translates as : ' _Remember you must die_ '  ” you explained. “ Isn’t that a weird thing to have written on your shoulder ? ” he replied. “ Oh, if you knew me you wouldn’t be surprised ” you stated. 

When you left the shop, you made sure to not touch the bandage with the fabric of your sweater dress, put your hair in a lower bun with a hat on your head and sunglasses on your nose. You readjusted your knee boots and hooked your purse on your arm. A content smile on your face, you hailed a taxi. Never in your life had you imagined you’d be free from HYDRA to do that.

**♦**

Bucky let himself fall on the couch of the hotel room he stayed in with his hands covering his face as he released a frustrated growl. HYDRA files were covering the coffee table, the ground etc. they were everywhere. Bucky had read them all. Twice. Desperatly trying to find a single clue about you but getting nothing. 

The phone Steve forced him to take with him rang and shoving his flesh hand in his pocket, he brought it to his ear. “ I’m going crazy ” he groaned when he answered. “ I take it you’re not making any progress ? Where are you ? ” asked Steve chuckling. “ I don’t have the tiniest information but what little I was able to remember. I’m in France, I remembered something about french food and thought it’d be a good lead. Turns out it doesn’t work " 

” Did you read the files ? “ wondered Steve, trying to help. ” Yes, all of it, twice “ whined the ex-Winter Soldier. ” “ Even yours ? ” the blonde sounded skeptical about this one. Bucky sighed, “ No, you’re right, I haven’t thought of reading those. Didn’t think it would matter ”  " Buck, if she’s a part of your past and was with the Winter Soldier, it’d make sense for her to be mentioned in your files “ ” Yeah, you’re right  " admitted the brunette. 

They kept talking for a bit and hung up. Resigning himself, Bucky got up and made his way to the binder containing all the files concerning the Winter Soldier. Opening a bottle of whiskey, pouring himself a glass, he sat on the floor at the end of the hotel room’s bed and started.

**♦**

Strutting the italian streets as the moon was starting to get high in the sky, you felt the temperature cooling a little. Not burning the skin as strong as it did during daylight but still hot enough to make anyone sweat by just standing still. The humidity of the city was suffocating but you kinda liked that about it. 

You turned into Cobblestone Street, some walls were tagged and you rolled your eyes at the disrespect of the new generation. Kids weren’t crossing much lines when you were little, now it seemed that the more rules they could break the better they felt about themselves. Oh how sorry you felt for the youngsters.

Checking on your phone the information you collected earlier in the week, you kept walking for a few minutes before finding yourself in front of a door supposedly condemned by the authorities. You knew otherwise. You knocked and waited patiently. 

“ Which one of these guy is yours ? ” asked the guard when you walked in the building. You chuckled, men were so stupid.“ None. I’m not here to cheer neither watch nor bet. I want to fight ” you said seriously. The man looked you up and down and laughed, “ Don’t want to kill your hopes, darlin’, but the fighters are all men and you’d get destroyed in seconds. You should just watch " 

You smirked, ” I’m a lot tougher than I look, darling. I bet that I can beat one of the guy’s ass. That is, if one of them is willing to hit a woman, _of course_ “  He sighed and nodded ” If anything happens to you, it’s on you and you only “  

” I wouldn’t want it any other way “ you said proudly, walking past him and through the ruins of the building to where the noise was coming from. People were cheering, shouting, and watching in circle as in the middle of the crowd, two men were fighting. You observed quietly, mentally noting that their fighting pattern was pretty basic and easy to defeat but yet, no one truly managed to get the upper hand. It wasn’t until a good twenty minutes later that they both knocked each other out. You huffed, pathetic. 

They were dragged out of the fighting zone and another man - the referee and probably also the one collecting the money from this illegal activity - stepped in, asking for who’d be ready to fight. A tall, large muscled guy stepped into the arena. The tattoos all over his body were probably there to try and scare people away but it didn’t work with you. Cracking your fingers one by one and your neck, you took a step forward. 

” I’ll fight “ you said with your head held high. You took off your leather jacket revealing some of your scars that weren’t covered by your shirt and threw it at someone, ” Keep that for me will ya ? “ you ordered more than you asked. You heard some laughs, both the men in the middle looked at you amused. ” Sweetheart, you’re only gonna get yourself killed, you should let the adults play “ one of them said. 

You kept moving forward, looking at your nails, you smiled seductively, ” Pretty sure I can make tears fall down from this big boy’s eyes “ you proclaimed. Pointing a finger at your opponent, you use the come hither motion, ” So, are we gonna fight or stare into each other’s soul all night ? “ you asked innocently. ” Fine “ sighed the referee, ” If you get hurt it’s on you. Rules are simple : put your adversary down for ten seconds and you win “ 

You were a bit disappointed, you used to fight harder than that, now it was just so _easy_. The big guy launched himself at you but with his mucle mass wasn’t fast enough, you took a step on the left and dodged his attack. You repeated the same action when he tried again. ” You’re too slow “ you mocked.

You played cat and mouse for a bit longer. ” Okay, now I’m bored “ you sighed. This time when he ran towards you, you ran to him too. Your action took him off guard and he stopped dead in his tracks. You gave him a toothy gri, putting a feet on his thigh and using it to push your body into the air. Closing your fist as tightly as you could, you threw him a superman punch. It met with his cheekbone and you heard something crack. 

The strength and surprise of the blow brought him to the ground. Not letting him get back up, you kneed him in the chin. ” You should stay down “ you advised. He growled holding his chin, ” And lose to a chick ? Never “ 

And once again he was charging and you were dodging. ” My grandmother is faster. And she died before I was born “ you taunted. Furious, he launched himself at you, tackling you to the ground. He was holding you down, hovering above you. ” What do you say now, pretty, not so confident “ he growled with an animalistic smile plastered on his face. You were repulsed by the man, he was just a beast without any brain. You rolled your eyes. 

Your right hand caught his left arm and your left hand caught his right arm. Putting a bit of strength, you pushed yourself on the ground, enough to slip underneath him and give you enough space to move. In one buck of your hips, you brought your legs around his head. You twisted your body enough to put your hands on the ground as your knees held a tight embrace on his head. ” This might hurt a little “ you warned as with all your might you threw your legs to the ground, making his face kiss the concrete floor. You heard a nasty crack and winced a little. 

Freeing yourself from the position, you stood up and dusted off your knees and shoulders. ” He might need to go to the hospital. Nose’s broken, might have injured the brain if the bones moved up too much and probably got some vertebreas misplaced. Have a good night, ladies and gentlemen “ you stated as you took your leather jacket back from the guy you gave it too. Stunned, the crowd was silent and watched you walk away without a single bruise. You had a dangerous smile dancing on your lips. 

**♦**

Bucky closed his fourth file and tugged at his hair in frustration. Deciding to take a break, he stood up and looked through the window. Night had already fallen in the french city. He sighed and made his way to the bathroom, hoping a hot shower would help ease his nerves. He thought of the video in the HYDRA base. 

_Powab_. He had been able to read your lips when you said that. He didn’t know what to think of it but he couldn’t shake the feeling of familiarity. Of course, he knew the meanings of this word but he didn’t see the point. Why would he ever use lure, charm and seduction united in one polish word as a nickname ? 

Who were you and what part did you play in his past for him to use this nickname ? Did it hold a deeper meaning ? What could be seductive, charming and a lure at the same time ? You were of a very beautiful woman of course, but it couldn’t be the only thing. You’d have to enchant, fascinate someone for you to be able to disappear without them remembering any of the action. Turning the water off and getting out of the shower, Bucky put on fresh clothes, his mind racing with thoughts. 

You’d have to hypnotize in some way. His head shot up and he looked at his reflection, eyes wide open. That was it. He remembered very little but it was enough to give him a lead, and his guts were telling him that he was right. He smiled proudly to himself, he knew where to find you. ” Get ready, _Powab_ , _zabójcza broń_  is coming for you “ 


	3. Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After what happened in the Hydra base, what the Avengers saw on the video and Bucky deciding to go after you, he finally finds you.

                                                        

 

 

James Buchanan Barnes spent months traveling the world. Most of the time on his own and sometimes a member of the team joined him. He followed his instincts and what little he could remember. He hadn't had much luck and was hoping for his last destination to be the right one. He was tired and frustrated and wanted to go back to the Avengers Tower. The weather was hot, the sun hitting hard making the super soldier almost suffocate in his long sleeve shirt but he knew he had to keep his arm hidden. 

Going up the Via del Verbiti, he positioned his bag on his shoulder, lost in his mind not noticing the ruins around him and ignoring the stares people were throwing at him. He had been in Rome for an hour and he was already impatient to leave the humidity of the place but he knew he had things to do first. The quiet of the evening was something he appreciated though. He was about to cross the road when something inside his head made him hesitate and look behind him. His instinct kicked in and he knew he had to follow it. 

♦ 

Sat on the stage in the middle of the Coliseum, you took a bite of your sandwich as you flipped through the pages of one of your files. You already knew what they said, you could even recite them all, word for word. But still, you had hoped to fall on a missed piece of information. A piece of information that you never found, and probably never would. As the thought struck you, you felt disappointment creeping up on you. Your peripherical vision caught a movement ahead of you and you stopped what you were doing, fully alert. 

Slowly getting up, you brushed some crumbs off your pants and made your way to the steel barrier. With an amused smile, you looked at the opposite side of the monument. You were not alone anymore, you could feel it. You searched in your head, slightly humming. You detected a mind getting closer. You knew this mind like the back of your hand. Or at least, you used to. You decided to let him come to you, after all, you had never been in danger within his presence. 

♦ 

Once he found a way to get inside the monument without attracting any attention to himself, he started walking around the corridors. For someone as old as him and with his past, it was the first time he ever set a foot in this place. He made a mental note to come back and be a real tourist. After a set of stairs, he stopped and looked in front of him. A smile of victory made its way on his face. There you were, against the barrier, looking around you. He didn't make any move, not wanting for you to know he was here just yet. You turned around and went back to your things. He took that as a signal to start moving again. 

With his quick steps he was close to you in no time. He was about to come into view when you turned around and faced him not the least surprised to find him there. " You hungry ? I have a spare sandwich. It's not poisoned, promise " you asked in a soft voice. You smiled handing him the food. He was taken aback. He didn't expect things to happen like that and didn't know how to react. 

He didn't feel threatened by you. Quite the contrary actually, he felt a sense of familiarity. He got the same feeling while watching Hydra's recordings. He didn't why or how, but he couldn't help it. He was safe within your presence and he knew he wouldn't put you in danger. Dropping the defensive posture, he exhaled. With a thankful nod of the head, he took the sandwich and followed you down on the ground, taking a bite. 

His eyes grew wide at the taste. " Is this. . . " he started. " A plum sandwich ? Yes " you finished for him. He was about to add something when you beat him to it, " You adore plums. And this is your favorite sandwich. I know. " 

" How did you know that ? " he asked wanting to get answers. You took a sip of your water bottle and gave him a side glance with a little smile tugging at the corner of your lips. " I know everything there is to know about you, Sergeant. The good and the bad. My knowledge of you stopped twenty years ago, though. But still, even your childhood friend Steve Rogers doesn't know you the way I do " you said. 

Even if he tried, he couldn't feel anything dangerous coming from you. " Who are you ? " he wondered, feeling that he had a right to know since you seemed to know him so well and he didn't have a clue about you. You sighed, putting your things back in your bag as he finished his sandwich and stood up. Looking at the sky, you saw that some stars were already out. 

" What kind of answer do you expect ? " you asked back. " The truth, please ? I've had enough lies for a whole life " he said and you nodded. He had a point. Poor man. " I don't know. If you go into the depths of the question, I have absolutely no clue of who I am. Either way, my alias is The Siren, or just Siren. I've been in Hydra's hands for a life time. Hydra created The Siren, I'm not a mutant.I was created to be The Winter Soldier's partner. " you confessed.  

" What do you mean ? " he asked more curious than ever. You shook your head. " Not here. But you can take a look at my files if it's of any use to you " you said. Thinking of something, you slightly hit your forehead. " How rude of me ! Where are my manners ? My apologies. Let's start over, okay ? Good evening Sergeant Barnes, call me [Y/N] " you offered, holding your hand out for him to shake.

He gave you an incredulous look but shook your hand nonetheless. " [Y/N] ? " he arched an eyebrow. " Yeah, well Hydra never really made me a citizen or anything so I had to come up with an identity to be able to live in the real world " you shrugged. " It sounds good. It suits you " he complimented, still unsure on how to behave. 

" Why thank you, yours is not bad either, James " you smiled. For the first time, he didn't wince while hearing is name. " You know, most people call me Bucky " he informed. You rolled your eyes, " I know, it was in your files. But I'm not most people. Besides, it's sad to ruin such a good name. Anyway, are you gonna ask the question that just wants to jump out of your mouth or what ? "

 He scratched the back of his neck. " Yeah, hem...a few months back, what were you doing in Hydra's Alaska's base ? You got caught on tape and what we saw was... " he started. " Awful. Yeah, sorry about that. I should have restrained Siren but getting revenge felt so good. It also means I will have to apologise to Captain America " you grimaced. 

" Does it mean you came all the way here to arrest me ? Are the Avengers treating you the way Hydra did ?  " you asked, taking big steps towards him and encircling his face with your hands, searching his eyes. They seemed pretty much alive, not pale like they used to be when under Hydra's control. They grew wide at your questions though, he was surprised. " What ? No ! I wanted to find you, I can't put my finger on it but I know you were a big part of my past. I'm looking for answers and you seem to be the only one capable of giving them to me. " 

You sighed, relieved. You would never want for your favorite soldier to go back through hell. He had been through enough already. You let your hands fall by your sides. " I understand. You're right. I can tell you about your past. I could tell you. Or I could show you. " you admitted. " Show me ? " " Yes. I am the keeper of your memory, James. Siren's abilities can give you the answers you're looking for. But not here. " you said. 


	4. Toska

                                              

Eyes closed, steady heartbeat and relaxed muscles, Bucky felt good. His surroundings were so quiet that he could hear the blood rushing through his brain. Awake and aware, he was enjoying the moment. Swift motions on his scalp had him turning into putty, the tender flesh and soft skin of delicate and accurate fingers running through his hair, untangling the wild strands. He hummed in appreciation, low sound coming from the depth of his chest, rumbling through his entire being.

" It feels good right ? " you asked, chuckling a little. He replied with yet another sound. You smiled, amused. He groaned, disapproving when he felt your hands leave his hair. " Don't stop " he whined. _James Buchanan Barnes whined_. " Come on old guy, the night's getting cold, we should head back " you said moving his head gently from your lap not to hurt him and getting up.

He didn't follow. Instead, he rolled over on his stomach and watched you walk away. It had been three months since he found you. Three months that he hadn't spent a day without you, harassing you to get answers about his past, about him, about Hydra. Patiently, you had given him the answers you knew his mind was able to take in at the moment and left the other hanging in the air. For example, the sense of familiarity he couldn't keep on feeling when he was with you was an aftermath of the eight years you had spent with him at Hydra.

His eyes followed the path your footprints had created in the sand. Light steps barely leaving any trace as if you had never truly walked upon the ground. He looked up, taking in the way your legs gracefully moved leading you forward with assurance. From the outside, you were exuding confidence and he was probably too but you and him both knew the truth underneath the masks.

He watched as you bent down to grab the edge of your dress, not wanting to let it drag on the sand. Even if he tried to, he couldn't deny the fact that you were beautiful. At least to him, you were a beauty, the rest of the world, he didn't really care. You seemed so delicate, so fragile, so _normal_. And yet, you had quite the feisty soul. His eyes went up again, even from the distance he could see the tattoo on your shoulder. _Memento Mori_. He'd have to ask about that later.

He watched as your hair moved in rythm with your step. You had cut them a few days ago, after you broke your last hair tie and almost died from the heat, and it was cute. He noticed you were still wearing the braids he made earlier in the morning.  He had insisted on you teaching him after he looked with awe at your hands moving quickly and efficiently. It had taken him a good hour to get the hang of it but you were a patient woman. He did good and was so proud of himself that you decided to keep them throughout the day.

You looked over your shoulder and rolled your eyes. He was already looking at you. " What are you waiting for ? Come on James, I'm hungry " you said. He released a heavy sigh but still got up, a little smile on his lips. " Why don't we go for a swim first ? " he asked. You froze to the spot. " Okay, you go swim and I'll get back. I'll see you back at the room " you answered, turning around and walking away.

Bucky felt that something was wrong. With a few quick steps he had caught up to you, his flesh hand grabbing your arm. " Why don't you come into the water with me ? " he wondered. Closing your eyes, you exhaled. He moved in front of you. Three months and yet, when he looked at you, he felt like it had been just the two of you for far much longer, a lifetime. When you took too long to reply, he felt guilty. " Did I do or say something wrong ? " he asked, looking at the ground.

Your eyes grew wide, how could he believe that it was always his fault ? It broke your heart to hear those words. The poor man was like a child, learning how to be and how to live all over again after being deprived of his free will for so long. Your hand cupped his cheek, lifting his head up a little, you looked at him with tenderness and sympathy, smiling gently. " Absolutely not. You haven't done anything wrong, not now nor the other times before that, okay ? You can't feel bad for things you don't know alright ? Stop blaming yourself. Think you can do that for me, James ? " you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, knowing it would appease him.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds. He liked the way his real name rolled of your tongue with ease, and how it felt like it belonged in your mouth. He liked the way your hand felt on his cheek, he had been craving skin on skin contact for so long. He was always scared to end up hurting people but with you it was different. He knew that if anything went wrong, you'd be able to put him down. After all, like you had told him one night, you had been created to handle him. " Promise ? " he asked, still not sure. " I promise " you nodded. " If you wanna swim, go for it, you're a grown up, you can decide for yourself. But I won't follow you for I do not know how to swim " you added.

" I could teach you, if you want " he said, hopeful. You quickly pecked his cheek. " That's very sweet of you, but I'm afraid of the water. Don't laugh, I know how it sounds coming from the Siren. Hydra made sure that I would never be able to set a toe in the water " you confessed. " I am sorry " was all he could say. You waved your hand in the air, " Nah, I've made my peace with it a long time ago. I can do other things so I won't let this little fear be a burden " you smiled widely, a smile that was contagious. He grabbed your hand, put it on his forearm and tugged you forward, walking back towards the hotel. " James, what about swimming ? "  " There's a pool at the hotel, I can swim there if I want. And this way you'll be able to come with me, not into the water but near " he shrugged.

**. . .**

After a long day out underneath the australian sun, the evening wandering along the beach until the middle of the night, and an hour or two by the hotel's pool, Bucky found you fast asleep on one of the bed. He made his way to your sleeping form, you were probably around the same age as him but you still looked like a young woman, he smiled at the thought, you both were so old but yet so young. Silently and in a sweet gesture, he moved the wild strands of hair covering your face.

Not feeling like throwing himself into the arms of the nightmares quite yet, he silently walked out to the balcony. The night was cold but he didn't really feel it thanks to the serum he was given - forced - by Hydra.He grabbed the phone in his pocket and dialed a number. He knew he'd get yelled at for not giving any sign of life, and he deserved it but he had needed to do things his way for once.

" Bucky ? Is that you ? " asked Steve's worried voice when he picked up. Bucky chuckled silently, " Who else ? You were expecting another call ? " he answered. He heard a sigh of relief on the other side of the phone. " Thank god you're alive. Where have you been ? What have you done ? Three months Bucky, what the hell ?! " and there it was.

" And you kissed your mom with this mouth, damn " joked the supersoldier, trying to lighten the mood. " Shut up. Seriously though Bucky, what happened ? Why did you disappear ? " he could hear the concern in his best friend's voice. " I found her, Steve "

. . .

  
_Two strong hands holding your arms to keep you up on your feet, your head hanging low, looking at the ground, you walked weakly and automatically. The same thing had been happening for far too long now and no matter how much you were used to it all, it still got harder every day. But it was your life. You were born in this life and you'd probably die in this life._

_You kept your mouth closed when a guard almost threw you onto the usual chair, waking the pain of your previous injuries up. The leather straps closing around your ankles and wrists didn't make you flinch. You didn't make a single noise, everything was so normal to you that you knew how to numb the feelings. Once you were settled, the two guards that lead you to the room left and you found yourself alone._

_You felt your heartbeat increasing, your breath becoming harsh, your fingers scratching nervously the surface of the chair. You were exhausted, in pain, sick of your life. You heard footsteps from behind the door and mentally counted the seconds separating you from another session of torture. When the door opened, you looked into the grey/blue orbs that you knew all too well. " Good morning " he started with too much joy in the voice for your liking. You didn't speak._

_He walked towards you, and went behind you. You heard some noises, he was probably trying to decide what to do. " So tell me, are you going to be a good girl today ? " he asked and in his tone you heard that he expected a response. " I will " you said, barely above a whisper, voice hoarse. " You will what ? " he insisted. " I will be a good girl today, father " you almost said the last word bitterly but stopped yourself from doing so. Instead, you threw your head back and closed your eyes, knowing what was bound to happen._

. . . 

Bucky was about to say something when he heard a thud coming from the inside of the room. Instinctively he tensed up. He quickly excused himself and hung up. Focusing on his surroundings, he heard whimpers, and like someone suffocating. He rushed back inside, looking around him franctically. Your bed was empty, the covers now laying on the ground with you on top of it, your whole body shaking, your eyes moving incredibly fast underneath your eyelids, your hands clawing at your throat like you were fighting for air.

Seconds later, your back was arched, your hands gripping the sheets beneath you so tightly that you broke a nail staining the fabrics with blood and a tear was rolling down your face. Bucky didn't think twice. He fell on his knees beside you and pulled you to him, calling your name. Gently, he kept calling your name and with his thumb he wiped the tear falling from your eye. When his skin touched yours, it was like he had been sent somewhere else.

Hearing your name faintly, you opened your eyes. When you noticed a flesh hand on your cheek, you gasped. You pushed Bucky with all your might, and jumped to your feet. " No, don't touch me ! " you shouted. Shocked by your actions, he was trying to process everything. When he looked up, you were gone, the bathroom door slamming behind you. You let yourself slide down the wall in a corner of the room. Encircling your knees with your arms, your head resting on them. You had dreamt about the waterboarding sessions you went through in the past. You could still feel the burn in your lungs for the lack of air, the water rolling down your face, into your mouth and nose.

You barely noticed the door opening and Bucky kneeling in front of you. You looked up when you felt his hands taking yours, gently brushing his fingers over your knuckles. The cold of his metal arm over your hot skin was soothing. " I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to see that, you already have enough on your plate " you said, your mind still a bit foggy. His eyes softened. " There is nothing to be sorry for, doll " he reassured with a sad smile.

He stood up his hands still holding yours, forcing you on your feet as well. " Here, you hurt yourself, let me take care of that " he ordered more than he offered, sitting you down on the edge of the bathtub. Without exchanging another word, he cleaned your broken nail and put some paper around it just in case. He held his hand out to you and led you back to the bedroom. " Come here " he said, settling on the mattress and bringing you onto his lap, his arms encircling you. He wanted to comfort you like you did him a few times before.

Your head was in the crook of his neck, your right hand following the path of his beard until reaching his hair, playing with it. Bucky didn't know if he was supposed to say something, it was something he had never done before. He didn't know how to react, he didn't even know that you could be so broken. Of course he knew you had been Hydra, obviously, but he never thought that your past could look like _that._

" That was just a tiny piece of my past " you whispered against his skin, your breath creating goosebumps on his skin. " The nightmare heightened my abilities, I can hear your mind even if I don't want to, even if you don't want me to. I can't control it. Sorry " you explained. " It's okay. I know what it's like to not have control " he said reassuringly.

" You don't have to feel sorry for me, James, it's alright. Hydra is all I've ever known, I grew up between their hands. What you saw, it was a few days before they turned me into the Siren. I was fifteen. " you confessed, your eyes glued to your lap.

Effortlessly, he lifted you up and positioned you so that you were still on his lap but facing him. He brought his hands to your face, thumbs drawings meaningless patterns over your skin. You knew what he was gonna say, and he knew that you knew but he said it anyway. " Thank you. For telling me this, trusting me, helping me. Thank you for telling me about my past, thank you for being here. Thank you for not pitying me and going easy on me. "

His words made you blush. It was the nicest words someone ever spoke to you, your life being a never ending list of orders and threats. " I only want you to get back what was stolen from you " you shrugged, placing your hands on his forearms. His eyes followed the movement and he became curious when he saw the pale flesh on your left wrist. You were often wearing shirts and dresses with long sleeves and when you didn't you had a headband or accessories tied tightly around your wrist. " It's scar tissue. I burnt myself " you explained. He brushed the pinky skin, " Why ? " " This is where they had marked me "

His eyes were locked on the scar as a silence settled between the two of you. " I have 5 more scars. They didn't get a chance to erase them " you answered his quiet question. Changing completely the subject, you asked, " Where do you wanna go next ? "


	5. Lakas ng loob

                                                   

 

Putting your hands over your ears, you rolled your eyes at Bucky whom ignored your reaction and put his hands over your eyes. The people around you probably took you for a silly couple or grown ups acting like child but you couldn’t care less. After everything the both of you had been through, you were allowed to indulge yourselves in a bit of childish behavior. After Australia, Bucky was the one to choose your next destination but he had decided that he didn’t want to tell you before you were there. 

He had done everything in his power to keep you unaware of where you were heading to and it had worked. He had covered your ears when you could have heard the name of the country and covered your eyes when it was written on something in your sight. He was leading you through the airport, towards the baggage claim area and decided that he’d put you out of your misery after that. 

With two of your senses unable to be used, the other ones heightened. Bucky’s chest was almost glued to your back to guide you safely so you were able to feel him breathing in and out. He wasn’t entirely calm but knowing you were with him and that he could count on you helped him feeling relaxed considerably. He had stopped looking over his shoulder at every little noise. 

His metal arm was cold against your skin and it contrasted immensely with the heat radiating from his flesh arm. His calloused fingers felt reassuring on your face, you knew that you could give him the complete control, you trusted him. Always did, always would. You were also aware of the fact that if you took a deep breath, your mind would be surrounded by his scent. He still smelt like coconut from the body wash he had used back at the hotel in Australia. 

Gently moving his hands down to your shoulders, he squeezed a little, signaling you to stop walking. You kept your eyes shut, just in case. When you stopped, he took your hands away from your ears and for a second your brain was taken over by all the sounds coming in at once. “ You do realise that if I had truly wanted to satisfy my curiosity I just had to look into your mind, right ? ” you smirked. “ But you didn’t ” he replied simply, “ Go on, open your eyes " 

” Uuuuugh the light “ you whined putting a hand on your forehead dramatically when you did as he told you. ” Very funny, [Y/N] “ Bucky rolled his eyes amused. You looked around you. ” Damn, they put grass in the baggage claim area ? Are we even still in the 21st century ? “ you wondered. Bucky watched as you looked up and down, left to right, eyes catching a quick view of your surroundings. He was expecting you to try and guess where he had taken you. When you had asked him where he wanted to go, you didnt wait for him to answer, you had just told him to pick a place and not tell you, betting 20$ that you could guess. 

Without looking at him, you grabbed a dollar bill from one of your pocket and handed it to him. He chuckled, taking the money from you. ” We’re definitely in Asia, but there are many different accents going around. James, where are we ? “ you asked, curiosity laced with your voice. He noticed your suitcases and retrieved them. ” We’re in Singapore, _Opaska_ “ he answered while making his way through the airport, your hands firmly around his metal arm, following his steps closely. ” _Opaska_ ? Really ? “ you said, rolling your eyes. 

” What ? You always have one with you. Besides, it’s original and unique “ he shrugged. ” Original, I don’t know, but definitely unique, I’ll give you that “ you looked up at him, smiling as he looked down, doing the same, unable to resist how cute you were. He cleared his throat.  ” Come on, we still have to drop our stuff at the hotel before exploring “ he added.

Once you had found a taxi to get you to the hotel Bucky had picked and you got into the room he had rented, you felt like you could sleep for a week. 

##  **...**

Bucky felt so comfortable with you even he was amazed by how easy for the both of you it was to be around each other. Going out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and used another one to dry his hair. He put on a pair of sweatpants and walked back into the room. You were standing in front of the big window, admiring the view of Singapore, a glass of wine in hand. It was quiet, really quiet, but not in an awkward way, it was kind of comforting. 

Going through his stuff, he picked a shirt and put it on before sitting down on the bed. He looked at you, your back turned to him, wine moving in circles as your wrist played with the glass, eyes glued to the horizon. Bucky wondered what was going through your mind, what you were thinking of. He didn’t really know anything much except what you had told him, or more like what you allowed him to know, and it suprised him how okay he was with that. As if, deep inside, he knew you’d give him all the information he needed in due time. 

” You can read my files, you know “ you said breaking the silence but not moving. If he didn’t know you were talking to him he could have thought you were talking to yourself. ” I put colored post-its on every one of them. You’re mentioned in all the red ones and I know you want answers. You’ll find some in there so go ahead, suit yourself “ you told him still not moving. 

Still looking at the buildings and the urban life moving all around the city, you listened closely. You heard his bare feet moving around, the zipper of your suitcase being pulled and the scratching of paper being taken out of the suitcase. For a second you were wondering if he was going to do it and he did. It was the only reason he was here after all. He wanted to know who he was, who was the Winter Soldier, he wanted to get his past back to that he could move on and live in this new life. So, of course he’d do it, it made complete sense. 

You hummed imperceptibly, and felt your mind tickling his. He was fully engrossed in his action. A bit reluctant, unsure of what he’d find but still, he wanted to do this, he had to. Finishing your drink, you put the glass down, tied your hair in a tiny ponytail and grabbed your phone. ” I’ll give you time to read “ you informed, walking to the door of the room. ” Why don’t you stay ? You can stay, you already read know what’s written so there’s no spoiler for you “ he asked, his eyes moving from the piece of paper to your fingers closing on the handle of the door. 

” Precisely. I know too well what’s on these pages. But you don’t. And you might not mind me being here now, but wait until you’ve read it all “ you answered, voice barely above a whisper, almost wrapped up in guilt. Before he could say anything else, the door was closed and you were gone.

##  **...**

 Bucky sat still on the bed, paper clutched in his hand and head turned towards the window. His eyes were lingering on the night sky as if he was looking for it to talk to him but he wasn’t even aware of what picture was being drawn on his optical nerve. The skin in between his brows was marked by the furrow that took over his features as he tried to put every piece of information he just read together. 

His mind was blank, too much information in so little time, he didn’t know what to think or what to feel. It was as if the clouds flying in Singapore’s sky were also flying around in his skull. His brain was swimming in jelly. Rubbing his face with his flesh hand, he released a heavy sigh, his chest being crushed beneath the weight of a past he had to read about because he couldn’t remember it. 

 He looked on his left, his eyes fell on the red post-its. They were mocking him with their color, reminding him that, no matter how much he wanted to start over and be a new man, his past would always haunt him in some way and the blood on his hands would never wash away. How ironic that you had used them for the files he was in.   

He then looked on his right and without even thinking about it, his hand grabbed the rest of the pile of files and opened them. He got answers about his past, that was for sure but he also wanted to know you. Looking at the dates on the covers of the files, he started with the eldest. Holding his breath, he opened it and started reading. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Opaska : headband


	6. Memory

                                                                     

 

 

It was either really late at night or really early in the morning when you came back to the hotel room. It all depends on the point of view. You didn’t expect for Bucky to be awake and even less overthinking by the window.  He didn’t move when the door closed but you were almost certain he heard you. Your eyes wandered around the room to end on the bed. When you saw all the papers covering the bed in a big messy pile, you closed your eyes and sighed. 

 " I guess you’ve read them all “ you said calmly, not wanting to startle him. You made your way to the bed and gathered the documents, putting them back in your suitcase. ” Yeah, sorry I couldn’t resist “ he answered, turning around to look at you. ” Well, I hope you found all the answers you were looking for. And probably more “ you gave him a weak smile. 

 In this moment, the very first awkward silence between the two of you occured. You didn’t know what to say or, if you should say something but you sure as hell wanted to get away from his stare. You couldn’t even decipher the way he looked at you. Was it anger ? Was it disgust ? Pity ? Sadness ? You had no idea and you were not gonna use your abilities to make him talk, that would be disrespectful.

He gave a dry laugh, ” I probably learnt more than I should have “ he confessed. You hummed in agreement. ” I’m gonna go get a shower and go to bed, I’m exhausted “ you informed as you headed to your stuff for your sleeping outfit. Before you could step into the bathroom, he stopped you.

 ” You’ve been out for a long time, what were you doing ? “ he asked. It was not suspicion, it was curiosity, he was implying his desire to know if you had done anything regretful or if anything had happened to you. ” I took time to enjoy the night. Ran a bit and got lost in the streets since things have changed since the last time I was here. But you already know that “ you shrugged.

When you got out of the shower, you left your clothes on the side, taking a mental note to take them to a laundromat. Bucky was absorbed in his thoughts but looked up when he heard you. ” We should kill the elephant in the toom so I guess I’m gonna go first “ you spoke, sitting at the furthest edge of the bed. ” Are you mad at me ? Do you wish me dead ? Or do you wish to leave ? “ you asked.

 Bucky couldn’t believe what you were saying, his brows furrowed in confusion as your back was turned to him. ” What ? “ he said in disbelief. Keeping your eyes looking straight ahead of you, you rephrased ” You read my files. All of them. So you certainly have something to say about it “ 

He moved and sat himself beside you. ”  I am in no place to judge. It would be inappropriate and hyprocritical “ he whispered. ” Or not. You were manipulated, transformed, coerced into becoming the Winter Soldier. You had a life before that. You were your own person. They stole that from you. I was not, I had not, and Hydra is the only life I’ve ever known “ you retorted. 

” You were manipulated since you were a kid, it is not your fault. You didn’t know anything else. You were convinced that it was real life and that you were doing good “ he reassured, grabbing your hands in his. ” Maybe. The only words I was hearing were orders, threats or simple compliments when I was doing things perfectly “ you told. 

 You were still focused on the ground, finding it to be more interesting than what Bucky could say with his body language. ” Do… do you remember ? “ he asked, hesitantly. You turned your head and locked eyes with him. The air caught in his throat, he was unable to breathe. The way your eyes were shining with what seemed to be a very old and dying light, it made his heart ache. In this moment, he swore he had never seen anyone being more haunted as you were. He almost cried out in pain for you when you answered, your voice cracking at the end. ” I remember _everything_. “ 

##  **…**

 Bucky woke up before you. His metal arm was tucked under the pillow his left cheek was resting on. His eyes fluttered open, greeted by the sight of you sound asleep on your side of the bed. You had fallen asleep at a crazy hour but it didn’t really matter it wasn’t as if you had an agenda. Checking the time on his phone, he growled and let his face hit the pillow hard. He had only slept for five hours. 

Of course, he could get up and go for the day, or probably three thanks to the super-soldier serum, but he didn’t have to and didn’t want to. Repositioning himself in a comfortable position, he sighed of appreciation when he felt himself instantly relax. 

When he woke up again, two hours later, he knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep so he got up and looked back at you. You were still sleeping and it seemed as if you weren’t gonna wake up anytime soon. He smiled at the sight, you weren’t joking when you said you were exhausted. He felt a bit guilty knowing it was probably because  of all the nights you stayed up to comfort him and help him with his nightmares. 

 After a few seconds of thinking, he decided to go the hotel’s gym to work out a bit. Before leaving, he wrote a note that he left on his side of the bed. 

##  **…**

Your mind came back to consciousness as your body awoke. You yawned, stretching your arms above your head, you turned around and one of your hands landed on something that shouldn’t be there. You grabbed it and opened your eyes to check it out. You knew it was a piece of paper the second your fingertips came in contact with the matter. Waiting for your sleepy and blurry vision to get clear, you sat up. 

A few words had been scribbled on the surface of it. Out of habit, you took a very close look at the paper. The ink was dry so it had been written for at least an hour. The note said that James was going to spend a few hours to the hotel’s gym. Folding it back and putting it down on the bedside table, you got up. You were going to take advantage of the fact that he wasn’t there. 

You stripped down to your underwear and went through your stuff, looking for your sports bra and shorts. Once you put them on, you positioned yourself in front of the window, put on a yoga playlist on your phone and started stretching. Closing your eyes and relaxing, you felt Siren withdrawing inside a corner of your mind and go silent. You released a relieved sigh, you could finally be yourself without this shadow towering over you.


	7. Tan-te

                                                                                                      

 

To say Bucky had gotten used to your presence was an understatement. It wasn’t as if he had planned to be with you 24/7, let alone for months, but it happened. He needed help, he needed support and he needed someone that could truly understand. You were doing all of this. 

He was sitting on the edge of the bed while you were sitting on the floor. He watched silently as you put on your shoes, fighting a bit because your feet didn’t seem to agree with the action. His lips were lifted at the corners, slightly amused by the scene unfolding before his eyes. You seemed really focused with the task at hand, it was almost hilarious. 

Looking at you, on the ground, one leg folded and the other kept straight underneath the first one ; struggling with your second shoe because your feet was pushing inside it as pulled it towards you with all your might ; he was amazed and confused.

As he took your appearance in, the way your clothes moved in harmony with your body as if they were a second layer of skin or the way a strand of hair fell from the low bun you made earlier to come and caress the tender flesh of your cheekbones, he wondered how anyone could want to make a monster out of you. You were so pure , so innocent , so authentic. It made him sick to think of what happened to you, what he read in your files. But then, he couldn’t understand why he had been targeted as well, he was nothing special in the 40s. Hell, he wasn’t anything special now either. 

He jumped a bit out of surprise when he noticed your fingers waving in front of his face. “ Hey, I thought I lost you there, James ” you chuckled. You showed him your shoes. “ I won the war, now I’m all ready to go ” you said, smiling. He smiled back at you and got up. 

You walked side by side in the busy streets of Singapore, you were really close to one another, almost touching, but you knew the importance of keeping your personal space, personal. You didn’t really have a plan on what to do or where to go, you were just wandering like any tourist would. Without exchanging any words, Bucky and you were in a weird kind of harmony, you were doing trivial things in the most normal way anyone would and this sense of normalcy held a great feeling of relief. 

“ You know…” you started, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between the two of you, “ this reminds me a bit of back in the days. You were never really one for talking ” The brunette turned his head to look at you but you weren’t looking at him, your eyes were focused on the crowd ahead of you.

He didn’t say anything, it would have been useless anyway, he didn’t know what he could have said. But these words awoken something inside of him. He knew that, in the 40s, he was quite the charmer and a good one at that, especially when it came to smooth talk and win over ladies’ hearts. He didn’t remember any of that, not even the slightest glimpse of his past was found in this foggy head of his.

He remembered Hydra and everything that came with it but even there, pieces were missing. Your pieces to be exact, you seemed to be the only thing they didn’t want him to remember. And it made him curious. But he had learned to be patient whether it was because he decided to or not. With a heavy sigh, he resigned himself to believing he could never go back to who he was.   


The Bucky he heard stories about, the one that charmed all the ladies and went to war because it was the right thing to do. The Bucky that was always standing up for his best friend, and taking care of him when he got his ass kicked. He was no more. He wasn’t Bucky anymore, and from what he felt deep within himself, it was as if he had never been and that all he was told was about someone else. Another man, a better man.   


“ You do know that I don’t need to use my abilities to know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, right ? I can almost hear the machinery of your brain working way too hard ” you told him, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him into a restaurant of some sort. He didn’t get a chance to react and followed with not much of a choice. He didn’t mind though, he knew you weren’t doing this to annoy him or control him. 

He came back to the real world when he felt you poking at his belly. “ What ? ” he asked a bit gruffly. “ Easy there ” you giggled, shooting him a big smile, “ You speak 30 languages, can you be my interpreter, please ? ” you asked. “ You mean you don’t speak the language here ? ” he wondered. “ Hey don’t mock me, not all of us were made to take over the world ” you replied, the end of your sentence a bit lower for only him to hear.   


You looked at the ground, feeling uneasy at how stupid you were being. Of course you had been a Hydra experiment but you were never meant to conquer the world, only make sure that the Winter Soldier remained in the ranks, and for that only three languages were necessary. With a surge of confidence, James put his metal arm around your shoulders and brought you close to his chest. He kissed the crown of your head. 

“ Don’t worry doll, I got your back ” he said with his first genuine smile of the day. And boy was it worth it when he saw the smile you shot him back, knowing he was not gonna make fun of you or think less of you for not being a polyglot. This day was a good day, and you were gonna keep it that way. The past, Hydra and PTSD could go fuck themselves for a day, they’d still be there when you’d get back.

 

**. . .**

 

Steven Grant Rogers was upset and worried. He was starting to regret letting his best friend go after a woman he didn’t know on his own. Ever since the phone call he received with Bucky telling him he had found her, Steve was left without any news. He knew he was overprotective but he couldn’t help it. Bucky was his childhood friend, he was like a brother to Steve and most of all, he was his last link with his past.  


With one last uppercut, the punching bag went flying through the room, splitting open. “ Easy there, Captain ” chuckled Sharon’s voice behind him. Massaging his fists, Steve let his shoulders relax and turned his head to the side. “ I can’t help it. It’s been weeks since he called. I’m worried that something may have happened and I wasn’t there for him ” he sighed, his chest feeling heavy.   


She stepped forward, putting a comforting hand on his back, between his shoulder blades but before she could speak, FRIDAY was heard. “ Captain Rogers, agent Carter, I was asked to inform you that the code of an important footage had been broken. Everyone is to meet in the main area to visualize it ” “ We’re on our way, thank you FRIDAY ” replied Steve. “ The pleasure’s all mine, Captain Rogers ”   


Without exchanging a word, Sharon and Steve made their way out of the gym. Everyone was already sitting in front of the room’s screen when they arrived and they quickly settled down as well.   


“ What is this all about ? What did you find ? ” asked the blonde. “ That’s what we’re about to discover, capsicle. All we have is the name of the file it was in : December 16th 1991 ” replied Tony, pushing a button on a remote. 

The date sent a shiver running down Steve’s spine. He knew what this mission was about and soon, the others would too. It meant that Bucky was no longer safe with them and would most certainly be threatened by Tony. Everyone’s attention was on the footage except for Steve’s. 

He was clenching his fist nervously under the table and observing everyone’s reaction. He already knew that Natasha would be understanding. She knew the Winter Soldier and she had met Bucky, same body but two different persons. She knew it wasn’t him. 

Steve couldn’t look at the screen, he already knew, he didn’t have to see it, he didn’t want to. Tony’s eyes couldn’t look away, he was incapable of doing anything but witness the scene unfolding before him. James Buchanan Barnes was his parents’ killer. He had murdered them in cold blood. Tony saw that Bucky had hesitated for a second but did it anyway. Howard and Maria Stark were dead by the hand of Captain America’s bestfriend. 

 The billionaire had lost his smug face, the mischievous twinkle in his eyes was dead and suddenly, he looked as if he was older than he truly was. He felt like his world had fallen apart. He was losing his parents all over again but this time, it was to the hand of someone he had tried to help save. His spine was submerged in horror shivers, it was the worst cold shower feeling he had ever felt. 

 After what seemed to be hours, the video was over and the screen back to black. Clenching his jaw, eyes burning with unshed tears of anger, Tony turned around and looked straight at Steve. “ Did you know ? ”  " I didn’t know it was him “ lied the blonde. ” Don’t bullshit me,Rogers. Did you know ? “ repeated Tony through gritted teeth. Steve sighed heavily and swallowed the lump in his throat, ” Yes “ he admitted. Gasps filled the room as Tony felt the knife of betrayal twist in the already opened wound. 

The silence that settled as they looked at each other was heavy and no one dared to move in case it would create an unwanted reaction. And just like that, time started to pass again as Tony flipped over the table and threw himself at America’s golden boy. Steve’s head was forced to turn under the impact of the punch he received but Tony was the one to hurt the most.

Holding his fist against his chest, he looked furious. ” Get out. Everyone out. Rogers, I want you out of my Tower and don’t you dream of coming back, same goes for your murderer of a best friend. Out of my sight “ he articulated each words carefully, looking terrifying as hell. ”  It wasn’t him Tony, HYDRA had control of his mind “ said Steve, trying to ease things a little bit. ” He killed my mother ! “ yelled Tony, his voice breaking at the mention of his mother.

Steve knew he couldn’t do or say anything to help his or Bucky’s case, so letting his shoulders fall under the weight of the situation, he nodded and left without another word.


	8. Mamihlapinatapai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a year since I've posted or written anything I AM SO SORRY (although you might have forgotten about this so it's probably no big deal ^^' )

 

                                                      

 

You tried to remain patient and calm as you watched the two woman moving around you, putting the clothing in place for it to fit perfectly. " You look absolutely beautiful my dear ! " exclaimed one of the ladies as she took a few steps back to look at you. " Absolutely ! " repeated the other, clapping her hands together. " Your baliye is going to lose his voice when he'll see you " she added.

Your eyes grew wide, you didn't know the meaning of the word she used but you figured she had spoken of James using a nickname. " Oh no, we're not together like that. We are friends " you corrected with a little smile. " Well, that's a shame because, with a pretty boy like this one, I wouldn't let anyone near him " sighed the eldest one. You chuckled, " He's a big boy, he can handle himself and some groupies "

After the two Indian women dragged you into a shop with them, Bucky had opted to wait outside, amused by your pleadings for him to not leave you alone with them. In your head, you swore to yourself that you would get your revenge for that. " Come on, Firdaus, let's show this young lady how pretty she looks in this saree " suggested the brunette woman of the two.

Before you could say anything or even try to protest, you were pushed in front of a tall mirror. You almost didn't recognize yourself in the reflection standing in front of you. " Wow, I don't know what to say, this is beautiful " you whispered in shock. " Well, starting with beauty always makes it easier to work, dear "

You had never seen yourself this way, never tried new things, you never really even paid attention to your looks before. Sure you liked to feel comfortable in your clothes but you weren't looking for pretty. Heck, you didn't even understand the concept of self-loving that seemed to be inherent to human nature.

After thanking them over and over again, you joined Bucky outside. " To be honest, I don't know which torture I prefer " you joked, turning on yourself so he could see the result. You winced when he didn't say anything, eyes looking you up and down several times. " That bad, huh ? " you asked. This brought him back to reality, "Hmm? What? Oh no! No, no, it's really pretty. And you look gorgeous " he spluttered.

You rolled your eyes, " I thought you were supposed to be a better liar than that, sergeant " you giggled. Without waiting for a reaction, you walked past him and made your way towards something your eyes caught and that intrigued you.

**…**  

" What did you wish for ? " asked Bucky. You shot him an amused look, " I would tell you but I can't because it would jinx it " He chuckled, " I won't tell you mine then " he tried to bargain. " I didn't ask " you replied shrugging.

Looking ahead of you, you noticed a young child in the middle of the way and a vehicle coming in the same direction at a fast pace. Bucky jumped into action before you could even react. " James !  " you heard yourself shouting.

Once the vehicle had left, you grabbed the lower part of the saree you were wearing and started running towards Bucky and the child he had just saved. The child thanked him but didn't get any response so you told him it was okay and to be more careful and he left, running.

Falling down to your knees, you checked upon Bucky. "James? Are you okay ? " you asked in a whisper, gently framing his face with your hands, putting some wild strands away from his eyes. " I....I don't know. I didn't think, just reacted " he said, looking at you, slowly getting back to reality.  "It's fine, you're alright. This was a stupid move but it was brave " you told him with a small smile.

You stood up and helped him up on his feet. " Breathe, James. You saved the child's life, the Soldier has not returned, everything is fine. Do you believe me ? " you said as he anxiously looked around him to see that people weren't paying attention to the two of you. He turned his head back to you, grabbed your hands in his and gave you a sorry smile. " I believe you. Thank you " he whispered with a broken voice.

" Come on, let's go back to the hotel room " you announced, tugging on his metal arm, the one you always hooked your hand on when walking and gently forcing him to follow you. " No, it's alright we don't have to. I don't want you to feel obligated because of me " he tried to argue. " I never do what I don't want to. Not anymore" you replied simply, not letting go of him.

**…**

You walked out of the bathroom, a towel around your head, drying your hair and saw an exhausted Bucky Barnes asleep on the covers of the room's bed. He was relaxed, not a single part of his body was tensed and at this moment he looked so young that it was hard for you to think he was over a hundred years old.

You walked back into the bathroom to get rid of the towel and, with a fond smile towards the sleeping man, you tiptoed through the entire room, tidying it up a bit. Humming slightly, you felt Bucky's mind to make sure it was clear of shadows and nightmares. You weren't that tired, or you didn't feel it anymore, you didn't really know which option was best.

Inside one of your bags, you carried weapons. They followed you everywhere, every time. At first, it was tricky to cross borders and travel through the world with them, but it was one of the good sides of your abilities, you quickly had things going your way. You picked them and sat on the floor at the edge of the bed before getting to clean them. This kind of thing, you didn't need to think to do it because it became a habit after the first twenty years.


	9. Won

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Won: Korean - The reluctance on a person's part to let go of an illusion.

Slow, deep, steady breaths indicating a state of unconsciousness came to an end as you blinked several times, letting your body wake up on its own. As always you brought a hand to your face in order to rub your eyes but nothing happened. Your arm didn't move and trying harder, you felt pain shooting through your wrist. Lifting your head the best you could, you looked down to see that both your wrists were strapped down to what seemed to be a surgical table.

A light hit your eyes and you had to blink several times to get used to it. Men in white coats appeared out of nowhere. They weren't using one language to speak, they were jumping from English to Russian, to Polish, it made no sense. One of them held what seemed to be electrodes in his hands and he was getting dangerously close to your head. You fought against your restraints but nothing worked, you were a prisoner. A needle pierced the skin of your neck and you screamed with all the air your lungs could hold before losing consciousness again.

You opened your eyes to find yourself standing above a sink, hands clutching its edges and gasping for air. Splashing some water on your face, you looked up to face the mirror in front of you, getting an idea of how messed up you looked. When you saw your reflection, the sink broke under the pressure of your palms, your eyes widen of shock and your throat released a very high pitched squeal. Your reflection was pale, eyes nothing but black and your lips were sewn together.  It wasn't you. It couldn't be you. How could it be? How could have this happened? You had no memories. Actually, taking a second to think and search your mind, you had no memory at all from before this. What was happening?

James. Where was James? For a second you thought about calling out his name but didn't. You didn't want to drag him into whatever this was, he didn't deserve this. You could handle yourself. You took a deep breath and looked around, trying to reason and find a way to get out of this place. If you got in, even though you had no memory of it, you could get out. Basic thinking, it seemed pretty logical.

What you couldn't assess though, was the level of safety you were lacking or not. Your survival instincts kicked in, and you acted. You punched the mirror and to the sharpest piece that fell to use it as a weapon if needed. You had not covered your hands, it didn't matter after breaking the sink, you were already bleeding so a bit more wasn't gonna change anything.

You made your way out of the room and walked in a random direction. A noise resonated throughout the place, and you stopped moving, trying to catch any sound. You quietly hummed, with the hope that maybe Siren could perceive something, feel a presence, anything. The blood in your veins turned icy in the blink of an eye, and you held in a surprised squeal when you felt a hand grabbing your shoulder.

You moved as far as possible before turning around. Your heartbeat was picking a pace, and it was getting faster by every second passing. You wailed when you saw an arm coming out of the wall and heard a voice articulate words in a sickening way. A voice you had not heard in decades.

" _Eenie_ meenie miney _moe, come out, come out, baby doe,_ eenie meenie miney _moe, remember our quid pro quo_ " sing-sang the voice. " _You know Siren is mine to control, I've made a pawn out of you, look into your of coal, and you'll know it's true._ "  You didn't know what was the most frightening but didn't stay to figure it out, you ran as fast and as far as you could.

It seemed as if the more you moved forward, the less you were going somewhere. Your inner voice wasn't really helping either. Every cell in your body was shaking, Siren's voice in your head was displaying very detailed hypothesis about how everything could go wrong and how dead you might end up. " Could you at least try and come up with an idea that ends up somewhat positive?" you said through gritted teeth as you kept running.

" _Eenie_ meenie miney _moe, my patience is running low_ , " said the voice, stronger than ever. " You're not real! Go away! Leave me alone!" you shouted, putting your hands on your ears. " There is no running away from me, darling, never " the deep chuckle following that statement had your skin crawling.

Looking around you, you realized you were trapped. There was no way out. Four walls, no window, no door. You could not escape that. Movement caught your eye and just like before, you saw as a human body came out from within the walls and as he stood in from of you, your eyes grew wide.  " Father. No, that's not possible. You are dead" you stated in a whisper, more to yourself, trying to make sense of what was happening.

He chuckled again, that deep chuckle that came from his chest and shook his shoulder in the slightest motion. It was his predator chuckle. He walked towards you and you stepped backward. Ever since Hydra, you weren't a big fan of human touch, but if there was one you had to run away from, it was Schmidt's. After a few steps, your senses made you stop, throwing a quick glance behind you. Out of nowhere, a pool had appeared, and it seemed quite deep.

You were stuck in every way possible. It was either drowning or falling back under Red Skull's orders. When you turned your head back to look in front of you, you were faced with a creepy smirk. "Am I, really, daughter ?" he asked. " _Eenie meenie miney moe, I'll be throwing the last blow._ " And without another word, he put his hands on your shoulders and pushed you into the water.

**. . .**

Bucky remembered falling asleep with his head on your lap, your fingers running through his hair, calming his mind down and helping him let go of any tension. He had tried to ask you to sing because he wanted to hear your voice but you refused, reluctant to the possibility of using Siren on him unintentionally. Unconscious, he didn’t know it had taken a few more hours for you to finally go to sleep as well. And once it happened, he was unaware of the pictures that plagued your mind.

When Bucky was comfortable, felt safe and didn’t have to look over his shoulder, he was quite the heavy sleeper, like he had been in his previous life in the 40s. However, even though everything had been calm for the past months for him to feel safe, he still kept his light sleep to make sure he could react quickly if anything were to happen to you. He had taken a habit to sleep with either an arm across your middle or a leg tangled with yours, so that he could always be slightly aware of your presence, but mostly your movements in case you were having nightmares.

Not too keen on human stuff that you weren’t accustomed to, you had agreed to his reasoning when you’d asked why one day. You had a condition though: no skin on skin contact when you were sleeping. You couldn’t let what happened in Singapore repeat, you didn’t want him to get in your head during a moment of weakness. He couldn’t see the horrors that hid there, never.

This habit is what woke him up, or lack thereof. You had left the bed and by the time he opened his eyes to look around for you and lifted his head up from the pillow, all he caught was a glimpse of your form leaving the room as the door closed behind you. Confused, he got up and went after you. He followed you through the hotel, half-whispering half-shouting your name but didn’t get any response. 

You stopped right at the edge of the hotel’s pool and he swore he’d never sweated so hard in his life. He had kind of figured you were having a sleepwalking nightmare, which was a first, and he was worried. He called out your name and you turned around. Your eyes were opened, but he could tell that you were still deep into your head because you didn't see him. You were seeing something else and as he took careful and slow steps towards you, his ears caught the sound of whispers coming out of your mouth without being able to make them clear.

He was only one step away from you when your eyes suddenly grew wide, a shocked expression painted on your face as a tear rolled down your cheek, and you took a step back, falling into the hotel's pool's water. " [Y/N]!" shouted Bucky. Without hesitation, he jumped after you and caught your body right as it was about to touch the bottom before swimming back to the surface.

He laid you down on the ground and searched for a pulse but as his fingers brushed the skin of your neck, your eyes opened. In a rush of adrenaline and a matter of seconds, you had him pinned underneath you, your thighs on his arms to block him from moving and your hands around his neck. Your eyes had turned a glowing yellow/orange colour which had never happened before, and you didn't seem to be aware of it. Every muscle in Bucky's body tensed but he forced himself to not react and totally surrender because being violent was not the solution nor the way to bring you back.

You blinked and your eyes went back to their usual [E/C], your hands let go of him and you moved your body to the side, sitting down. " Sorry about that, I don't know what came over me" you apologized. You looked at your hands, there was no trace of blood on them, and bringing your fingers to your mouth, you made sure your lips weren't sewn together. You sighed of relief as your noticed your were completely soaked from head to toe. " What happened?" you asked, looking at him, and the wet locks stuck to his forehead. " You almost drowned " he answered as he got up.

Offering you his hand he helped you get up, and led you back to your room, linking your arm with his. He had hoped that maybe he could've caught a glimpse of your nightmare when your skin touched his, but it seemed that you had found a way to keep a hold of this one. Instead, all he was able to do was get a feeling of fear, helplessness, pain, and defeat. As all of this washed over him, he looked down at you. So petite, almost appearing as fragile and yet, you had overpowered him before he could even process the situation and you were probably the most lethal weapon ever created in this world. 

 


	10. Fingerspitzengefühl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (German) Literally, "fingertips feelings", used to refer to a situational awareness, and the ability to react appropriately to a given situation.
> 
> Side note :   
>  \- Also, I've put some Russian in there, and I've used a translator so I hope there is no mistake ^^"   
>  \- This chapter was absolutely hard to write, I had to watch some scenes from the movie for hours on end to get the right lines of the dialogues and I had to try and find the right way to capture Bucky's character. But I also had to make everything fit my version of the story. Anyway, it was hard but not impossible, so here you go :)

After the nightmare episode in India, you convinced Bucky that everything was fine and you picked another destination: Bucharest. You had a reason for this choice but he didn't know that and it was better this way.

Before Rome and your little adventure, you were on a mission. A mission for yourself. You wanted to get back to it but not before knowing for sure that James was safe. His safety was more important, the rest could wait a bit more.

As the plane took off, you released a sigh. The twelve hours flight was going to be a long one. You let James choose a movie to watch, and halfway through it, you got bored and realized you hadn't followed a single thing that had happened on the screen so instead you decided to look out the window.

A moment later you felt James' mind slow down and you knew he had fallen asleep. Grabbing the bag you had brought with you, you took the files and a notebook inside of it before settling back in silence.

First, you wrote down your nightmare. It wasn't a usual one and it had left an awful feeling in your guts. You had to follow your instinct. Going over your files quickly an umpteenth time, you wrote down some things you wanted to remember. Thinking about everything for a bit, you were quite sure of doing the right thing. The voice in your head was whispering the same things: Hydra was coming for you.

After a while, you felt as if you could sleep as well and put everything back in the bag before trying to find a comfortable position to fall asleep to. " You alright ? " asked James' sleepy voice. " Yeah, trying to find a napping position, go back to sleep, we still have five hours before landing, " you told him with a gentle smile. He hummed and threw his human arm around your shoulders bringing you closer to him. " Wait, we don't have anyone behind us, we can move our sits a bit to get more comfortable " you whispered knowing he'd still hear you with his super soldier's senses.

When comfortable enough, he put his arm back around your shoulder and brought you even closer than before. You ended with your head in the crook of his neck, with your right arm across his torso, your hand falling onto his covered metal arm and your right leg between his. Bucky, even with his eyes closed, moved the arm on your shoulder down slightly so his hand would rest on your waist and he brought his metal hand onto his human wrist caging you in a protective and soft embrace.

You fell asleep before him, and a satisfied smile adorned his lips as he felt your every breath on his neck, giving him goosebumps. You weren't doing anything, you weren't even awake, but yet, it still managed to keep him calm and grounded. For the first time in what seemed to be forever, he felt at peace.

**.  .  .**

A week in Bucharest was the most domestic thing and Bucky loved every minute of it. When he left the little apartment you were staying in, you were asleep and he thought that maybe making you breakfast might lift your spirit. It had been very tiny but he'd noticed that ever since the incident, you had been pushing him away. Of course, you still acted the same when he was in a dark place but you didn't speak about you anymore.  
He was thanking a man after buying plums when something caught his attention. There was a stand nearby, selling press and newspapers, and there was a man reading the paper which had a blurry picture of what Bucky thought to be him and a huge headline about the Winter Soldier. Bucky sighed and cursed inwardly when he met the man's eyes before disappearing into the crowd and going back to the apartment.

" [Y/N], we have to move, something came up, " he said as he entered the place, bag of plums in one hand and keys in the other. " I know, I'm already five steps ahead " you replied in the most neutral voice. His head moved to look at you but he was taken by surprise when he saw something he wasn't expecting.

" Hey Buck, it's good to see you " smiled none other than Steve Rogers. Confused, Bucky looked at you. " I sent him our coordinates. He's your best friend, and after what happened in Vienna, you're enemy number one. You need all the help you can get " you explained. " I didn't do it " he retorted, brows furrowed. " We know, " said Steve to calm his friend, " but the people who think you did are coming here now and they're not planning on taking you alive "

" It's smart, good strategy " assented Bucky. " I'm going to pretend I've never heard that " you fake smiled. The three of you heard someone speak and you reacted quickly. " Ladies, time to waltz " you announced, grabbing two hidden knives from your boots. You were always prepared, and slightly paranoid.

Once the special force entered, it was a mess of thrown kicks and dodging. Bucky kicked a guy in the chest and threw him out of the apartment, onto the tiny balcony. " Buck stop! You're gonna kill someone " shouted Steve. Bucky punched a guy with his metal hand and looked at his best friend. He punched a hole in the ground and grabbed both your backpacks before throwing them onto the opposite building's roof.

" I'm not gonna kill anyone " he stated, a bit frustrated that Steve would think that. Both men looked at you as you swirled the blades in your hands. You raised your eyebrows at them getting the message. " I ain't promising anything " you shook your head.

The fight then went into the staircase, which was a bit hard and uncomfortable. " Why can't there ever be a fight in a good place? The beach, a spa, something that doesn't have to make you get into weird positions would be good " you grunted as you threw a quick glance down the staircase to see more people coming up.

Bucky did the same and jumped, using the body of an unconscious guy to get down safely. " Really ?! " you exclaimed bewildered. You rolled your eyes and huffed as Steve jumped after him as if he was doing this every day. You followed doing the same, but managing to land onto a guy's shoulder.

" Hi " you smiled down like a predator. With your thighs secured around his neck, you threw your head back so that your hands could grab the guard rails and you threw him above it. You made a face when he touched the ground. " Yep, I think I killed him. Sorry " you said loud enough for it to resonate.

With a quick throwback of your leg, you kicked another one in the throat, making him fall down. You followed Bucky as quickly as you could and jumped when he jumped. He knocked down a door and you shared a look. Nodding, he ran at full speed and jumped onto the next building's roof. With an annoyed moan, you followed. You weren't as heavy as Bucky so your landing was easier.

He was waiting for you and somehow, it made you feel warm. It was a strange and new feeling. You both grabbed your backpack and started running. You felt it before you saw it: someone else was there. He tackled Bucky and rose to his feet, unsheathing what seemed to be claws and the tip of his fingers. He was the Black Panther. " Oh, I got claws too " you cooed with a smile showing him your knives.

Bucky threw the first blow but his opponent blocked it and pushed him back with two kicks to the abdomen. You hit him in the stomach with your shoulder, making him step back. With a knee to the chest, he had Bucky down. His clawed hand came really close to Bucky's face, you stopped it before it could do any damage. You twisted his wrist as much as you could, kneed him in the stomach, in the chest, and in a swift movement, locked his head between your shins. You used your free hand to get some support, putting it on the ground and then jerking your body as far as you could, sending you both away.

The Black Panther hit his head in the process, he hadn't anticipated that the Soldier wouldn't be alone, let alone that he was with a skilled woman. You were on your feet in a few seconds, back to James. " You need to leave, now, " you told him, eyeing your opponent. " I'm not leaving you behind " he refused, shocked that you would suggest something like that. " This is not a suggestion James. I will keep him busy, you go. I'll find you later " you said. Before he could protest more, you had already turned your back and charged the other guy.

The Black Panther didn't fight you. " My fight is not with you, " he said. " Your Highness " you nodded your head. " Your fight isn't with him either. But if you're after him, then you're after me" you added, throwing as many knives as you had and could in his direction before following Bucky's track.

You ended up running along cars in a tunnel. The Panther was behind you and you could also hear another pair of feet running, it most likely was Captain America. Far ahead, you saw Bucky getting on a bike. " Hey ! " shouted Steve Rogers. You looked over your shoulder, he had stolen a car and was getting close to you. You slowed down your pace and jumped into the vehicle through where the windshield was supposed to be.

Black Panther got closer and closer to Bucky as he used Steve Rogers' friend as a vehicle, holding onto his legs. Bucky caught a glimpse of it though and threw an explosive on the ceiling of the tunnel. Steve hit the break and before he turned the wheel to jump out of the car, you had gotten out the same way you had gotten in.

Steve threw himself at the Panther standing above his best friend, ready to kill. You ran to Bucky as he got up. " Are you okay ?" you asked frantically, your eyes searching for injuries. " Are you ?" he shot back. You nodded with a reassuring smile. Before anyone else could start another fight, you were all surrounded by black cars, and weapons were aimed at you. There was even a guy with a gray Iron Man suit.

A guy came behind Bucky and forced him to kneel. You were about to protest but the look he gave you stopped you. Someone put your arms behind your back and handcuffed you as well as the others.

**.  .  .**

You stayed quiet during the whole trip to Berlin, not answering when Steve's friend, Sam tried to talk to you. You kept your head straight and your eyes looking ahead. You ignored Steve's glare. When you arrived, you got out of the vehicle last, your head instantly turning to look at Bucky inside the containment cell. His face was closed, the blue of his eyes had turned dark, his brows were furrowed, he had withdrawn into his own mind.  
You wanted to get to him but using your abilities was not a good idea at the moment so you just settled to stare at him. He must have felt your eyes on him because turned his head and your eyes locked. You always felt his mind inside yours but you couldn't reach him without Siren.

Steve, Sam, and T'Challa moved and you had to follow them. With one last look at Bucky, you turned around, and you knew he had understood the silent conversation you just had. He trusted you.

" What's gonna happen ? " asked Captain America. " Same thing that ought to happen to you: psychological evaluation and extradition " replied a man. " This is Everett Ross, Deputy Task Force Commander " informed Sharon Carter.

You followed silently. " You'll be provided with an office instead of a cell, now do me a favor: stay in it " announced Everett Ross. You caught the look that Black Widow gave you which made you smile, amused. She remembered you.

**.  .  .**

 

You ended up in the office with Steve Rogers and Sam. Sharon Carter walked in and allowed the three of you to have a visual of what was happening with James. You straightened up, your entire focus on the screen. "I'm not here to judge you. I just want to ask you a few questions. Do you know where you are, James?" asked the doctor. " I can't help you, if you don't talk to me, James" he added when he didn't get any response.

" My name is Bucky " replied James with a hoarse voice. " Tell me Bucky, you've seen a great deal haven't you?" pushed the doctor. " I don't want to talk about it, " said Bucky in a deep low tone. " You fear that, if you open your mouth, the horrors might never stop " pushed the doctor.

" Don't worry, we only have to talk about one " he added. Your skin crawled and hairs raised on your arms. You had a bad feeling. " I don't like this guy, something is off " you spoke for the first time since Bucharest. You hummed quietly, finding James in a few seconds. He was feeling really uncomfortable.

The power shut down, putting black screens on every tv and computers. " Sub-level 5, east wing, " said Sharon, when both you and Steve turned to her. As soon as she finished her sentence, you were already running to get to Bucky. You could feel his distress, and his mind changing. " No, no, no, no! " you shouted as you forced yourself to run even faster.

Humming, you tried to see into his mind, and the pictures that flooded them made your blood run cold in your veins. Bodies covered the floor when you arrived. " Help me. Help " called the doctor's voice but Steve was having none of his shit. He pushed him against the wall. " Who are you? What do you want?" he asked. " To see an empire fall " was the fake doctor's answer.

You heard a commotion and saw the Winter Soldier attacking Sam and throwing him through the room before attacking Steve. Annoyed, you growled. You had to stop him but you couldn't let the guy escape either. Steve could handle his best friend for a bit.

You kneed the imposter in the stomach and held his head between your hands, getting control of him. You brought your mouth to his ear and whispered " You're going to sit down inside the cell and wait patiently for the authorities to get you. I will come back for you " you ordered before sprinting down the halls to get to the Soldier.

**.  .  .**

" **_Cолдат, хватит!_** (soldier, that's enough! )" you shouted after the Winter Soldier punched Tony Stark away. You held your hand in the air to signal Sharon Carter and the Black Widow to not make a move. You had been created for this, so it was time for you to do your job. He stopped moving but turned around to face you. Everything was silent, no one dared make a move in fear of the soldier, and everyone stared intently at the scene.

You kept walking until you found yourself only a few inches away from him. You looked into his eyes, he was already looking at you. " _**Ты помнишь меня ?**_ ( Do you remember me?) " you asked in a soft voice. " _**Да**_ (yes)" he replied. " You can stand down now, there is nothing to fight for. There are no enemies here. And there are no orders to follow " you stated. He relaxed a bit, and you sighed with relief. After all this time, he still listened to you.

"I am going to touch you now, soldier but I am not going to hurt you nor put you in any danger" you informed him. Trust was the key to everything in this situation. You gently cupped his face with your hands and hummed your little song. Sam and Steve arrived at this moment, they stopped to watch the scene unfolding in front of their eyes. " Should we do something or ?" asked Sam. " Why isn't he attacking her ?" wondered Steve.

" Soldier, you can go to sleep now. Let James take control over everything again " you ordered. You caught it in his eyes. The soldier's light faded away as James' came back to you. Your hands still on his face, you were still humming quietly, keeping his emotions under control because you could feel how awful he felt because of this episode.

" I am going to move my hands away now, but you are still gonna feel the same, my mind is connected to you right now so that I can help you go through this as smoothly as possible, okay ? " you gave him a small sad smile as he nodded and moved your hands. The second your skin left him, his arms wrapped around you and he hugged you tightly against him. " Shhh, it's alright. I'm here now, James. We will find a way for you to be free. It's alright " you whispered in his ear, as you held him as tightly.

" All he had to do was say the goddamn words " his voice quivered as he let himself fall to his knees. You followed him, he was still taller than you but in this instant, he seemed so broken that he had never been so small. " It's alright, James " you kept whispering. " I stopped him, you hear that? I stopped him and I have the book. No one will get to you, okay? I'll make sure of that, " you brushed some wild strands of hair away from his face, looking him in the eye.

Tears were in his eyes but they would not fall. " I am so sorry " he articulated before releasing a sob. " Oh, James " you uttered, throwing your arms around his neck. His arms were around your middle, bringing you impossibly close to him. One of your hands remained on his neck as the other went into his hair.

Captain America, Falcon, Black Widow, Black Panther and Iron Man watched it all with the same expression of utter surprise. They didn't even react when task force agents surrounded you all, guns pointed at you and Bucky. They kept their eyes on you, as you gently let go of the broken man in front of you, to get up and turn around, acting as a shield to him against the agents. " The situation is under control, there is no need for weapons. The Winter Soldier is gone " you said.

**.  .  .**

After being all escorted back into the facility, and in the office you previously found yourself in, a heavy atmosphere reigned. " Thank you for stopping the Winter Soldier, " said Everett Ross looking at you. " I didn't do it for you " you shot back. Everyone had sat down around the table but you, you were standing tall behind James. " Of course, of course. Well, I'm going to interrogate our fake doctor and see what kind of explanations he can give us for what happened " explained Everett Ross. You looked around quickly and took notes of some little things: everyone was uncomfortable here. Tony couldn't look Bucky's way. Steve was tensed when he looked at Tony, and the others felt awkward about it.

" Helmut Zemo, born 1978, in Sokovia. Intelligence officer and commander of EKO Scorpion, an elite Sokovian paramilitary tactical unit. You could say it's a kill squad. Lost both wife and son during the Sokovian attack. His father too. He's seeking revenge " you blurted out, answering all the questions about the imposter. " How would you know that ?" asked Tony giving you a suspicious look. " Because he told me. Sort of " you shrugged. " Who are you ?"

" No one " you admitted. " What do you mean, no one ?" asked Steve a bit upset. " She doesn't exist " spoke James for the first time since everything calmed down. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Powab : lure, charm 
> 
> Zabójcza broń : lethal weapon


End file.
